you’ve done things, you’ve started and started and started
you’ve nearly drawn a circle so many times
you’ve begun and begun and begun
you’ve talked and talked and talked your existence into being
it is so clear that it is an alternative world which doesn’t exist
you’ve pinned it and posted about it and opened the door
the breeze comes through
the room is lighter
the sun is on the other side
a permanent glow
and somehow, that has been enough
to know it is there, to know when you walk through you will become the light
the dream
the eternal sun from the centre of it all will fill
every pour of your being
all the holes will shine like a
blinding mirror ball
you have not stepped through the door
it’s propped open with your foot peering through
Sometimes it slams shut
you need to take the door off the hinges
There is no door.
We want
the original text
the first word
the blaze under the Earth
the missing fire that is found
the night time book under the bed
under the floor boards in the hidden place
like the beginning of a century and the
unlocking of time as the door blows
open and we all need to put our
sunglasses on.
The truth
In you
What you see from others
What you hear from others
About your being
Is only
What you have allowed in you first
What others say
What others see
Is your own view
Your own sight
Your own sense
Your own hillside
Your own script
Which you have handed out
To all the actors in your life
This is your own production
This is your theatre company
THE WAY IN
We are the new bitcoin
The currency
Is in your hands now
In your heart
What you have to give out is
Gold
Alchemy
Opening
Alive
It is the opening the place
The burning heart
The investment
Transcendent
Cracked
Spilling light
My fear is to open the crack so it
Cannot again be closed
Because when it was once open
Completely
we were known
And we were hung.
We were taken down
went under
held down
Underground
And then we were hung
Over and over and over
WE WERE THE SUN
And then we went under
Down
Cut in half
Hidden
But we were the sun
and that we still are
And this time rising
To a dawn who will greet us
Hold us
Honour us
Applaud
us all
She has been patiently waiting.
TO THE LEFT
Why do we put ourselves to the left
To the right
Under the box
Beneath the stairs
Under the floorboards
Inside a tin
You think you might be in there
You’re not sure you can’t remember
It was so long ago
You disappeared into that place
But a small bit of you escaped and found your body
and attempted to put you back together
like a few prongs from a feather
You were nearly recognisable
Almost there you thought
But if a cloud comes along
you go into it because you worry
The cloud needs to fulfil its purpose and wont
Be able to exist without a passive participator
So you disappear for the sake of air
Becoming so transparent
not even breath
Side stepping so you fall off
The Earth
There Is No Place For You Here
Was that the message
you were always given?
No place
No room
Because you are just too big
So disappearing
Evaporating
Became second nature
You got so good at it.
THE LINE
You found the line
under the line
beneath the surface
under the skin
it is even deeper than you ever thought
it’s like the trench
the digging involved is immense
it is jack hammer hard
rock molten granite modervite
going enlessly
into your solar plexus
This line there and you are making a hook
to collect it when you finally find it
I want to glass jar it bottle it
disappear into it
become it
HOME
I flew across the world without a map
reading Lord of the Rings
And a fire began to burn
leaving a wide space -
a blanket of oceans
Full of container ships with small messages
That I tried to pick up by listening to the sea
going to the shore with binoculars
identifying with lighthouses
shouting at the waves from the cliffs of England
Home found me eventually by a tree
Gaping at green leaves
Listening to the air outside
Sitting on a table made of old beams
And drinking tea in the quiet day hearing the birds and the BBC
Looking at the complicated lines on my palms
Home is the sound of a night heart beat
The tune in the dark under the skin
The still, alive moon
Hanging over the town
It is your pulse
drumming like a new star
It is the river in the dark
at midnight
The feel of lapping water
Liquid velvet against the skin
Swimming drunk
Turning 18 and wanting to be naked
Under the billion stars
It is waking
listening to birds and a call to prayer
London sounding like country Victoria at dawn